The Only Two Questions That Matter in Life
Feb 8th, 2008 by Rachel
It’s late, or, rather, early, and I’m thinking about something a professor of mine said. Dr. Tim Weber posits that there are only two questions in life that really matter. All of our angst and our striving come down to these two things we desperately want to know.
Am I good enough?
Am I loved?
How do you answer those questions?
If you’re most people, you might not even hold still long enough to consider them. We like to stay busy so that we don’t have to face our deep uncertainties about these questions.
But when you’re in the long dark night of the soul, these three or four words seep out of you like foggy breath on a winter evening. Am I good enough? According to whom? What standard determines “good” and how much is “enough”? And whose affection do I really need to know that I am loved?
After you part the crowds of people in your mind who are standing in the place of judgement, you come to find that the only person seated behind the gavel at the tall bench is you.
I help people struggling with self-esteem and body image issues. 
Hey Rachel,
Boy, those two questions are powerful enough to boil life down to its essence. I have finally, after many years, been able to answer both of them in the affirmative. Some of us are late bloomers, but I agree that it didn’t happen until it was supposed to, until I was ready. Thanks for the thought-provoking post.
Judy
In my life, I don’t think I evolved into responsible pseudo-adulthood until I answered the first question and became accepting of myself, for good or for bad.
For me, these questions still come up in various circumstances and can attach to particular settings as well (am I loved by that special someone I like?… do I fit in with these people?… do I want to achieve this because I want peanut-gallery-acceptance, love, fame, etc?). Maybe everything boils down to being good enough (ego) and loved (compassion).
In my life, it helped me to accept that I will never truly know myself (and have answers for ALL of the important questions). There is a fulfillment that comes from this for me (maybe through the release of the burden that I may some day know who I am). Instead, I try and associate myself with principals and values that I let guide my life on a daily basis. This way, the answers come much more easily and I feel myself sort of becoming the embodiment of those principals and values over time. While I feel I still have a unique self/soul/spirit, it has become more important to me how it acts on the world and, through the action, create a satisfying identity.
Bjorn, the fact that I’ll never entirely know myself, that there are always new facets to discover, is what keeps me fascinated by life! There may be no more Ponce De Leons out there because the outer world has been explored, but there is an infinite and amazing continent inside ourselves.
Thanks for stopping by.