How Otis Redding Can Help Our Psyches
Jul 30th, 2009 by Rachel
This song just popped into my head and I sought it out on YouTube.
Try a Little Tenderness by Otis Redding
And watching him perform it, I realized that this is the tactic we so often forget to take with ourselves.
Working with ourselves, we get frustrated or saddened by the challenges of just being us. But there is nothing in our egos, our personalities, that is there by accident or design flaw.
Everything within us exists for a reason. So says Systems Theory. All the components of what makes us up function together in some kind of a dance. More like the relationship of stars and planets than that of gears in a watch, but everything is all working together.
As I work with myself, I can get down on myself for making mistakes. For my stubbornness or my tardiness. There’s a way I can criminalize myself for any misstep. For all the work I do on myself, to be the best person I can be, shouldn’t everything be working now? Are there seriously still things I have to look for in the shadows?!
Well, yeah. And looking for them in a pissy mood isn’t gonna work so well.
I truly believe we’re not done learning from and about ourselves until we’re dead. And even then, who knows?!
So if I want to know me better, understand my challenges and emotional stuck points better, I have to come forward with openness and curiosity. My stuck parts need my kindness, sympathy, and wisdom. I don’t need to shut them up; I need to listen to them and lead for them, not from them.
Seeing Otis Redding today reminds me of this.
What if, in our self-exploration and healing, we kept that viewpoint in mind. Said, “how does this serve me?” rather than “how do I get rid of this?”.
What if we tried some tenderness?
Have you brought any tenderness to yourself lately? If so, I’d love to hear about it.
I help people struggling with self-esteem and body image issues. 
Rachael,
I’m trying a little tenderness today after the presentation you did last night at the Women in Transition meetup. I’m new to the meetup but was intriqued by the type 4 that I so identified with. I’ve taken the day off to take care of me, read all I can for now on enneagrams, retaken the Myers Brigs (was an Infj several months ago, now ISFJ. Ok, but I’m really working on self discovery once again. My 4 year relationship with a man I love, had so much fun with and felt safe with ended suddenly. He seemed and is so wonderful in so many ways but admittedly cannot make a commitment and get frightened of closeness. At 51, never married, living at home with his parents and older brother….I know there was little chance. But the affection, and laughter, companionship will be missed. So, I’m trying a little tenderness. I was angry and have tried to hang onto that anger to get through, but I’m not an angry soul. Thank you! Sue
Thanks so much for the comment on my blog, Sue. I’m pleased that you found that post, and our mini-workshop on the enneagram, so helpful!
Tenderness is very important to me. I have a strong connection to my anger, being an enneagram Eight, so tenderness and compassion with everyone, including myself, help keep me from burning up on the inside.
I wish you light on your path to finding a true, loving companion who will be available to you on all the levels you want.