Posted by Rachel in General | 5 Comments
Emotional Business: How We “Suffer” by Comparison
Whether you’ve started your business or are still contemplating it, you’ve probably checked out your competitors. And if you’re like me, you probably have a lot of stories and feelings about how great everybody else looks like they’re doing.
“Why didn’t I think of that?!” or “Wow, her website is so cool and professional…” What can follow that is thinking about why this person is so much better, more qualified, more successful, more popular, better liked, etc. than you. Not a fun path of thinking to go down.
So let’s talk about it and what you can do to stop it. Tune in to my internet radio show on New Year’s Day at 3pm Pacific Time and we’ll discuss it.
Want to get advice about your particular struggle? Send me your questions in advance to rachel@fogtofire.com or call in to (646) 929-1479 during the show to talk about it with me on the air.
This is so true… oh, the little head-games we play with ourselves. And after we suffer by our own comparisons, we then allow jealousy or envy or resentment to take hold!
I caught myself doing this, and realized that not only don’t I know the truth about the other person or their business (we only know what is presented), but heck, if the other person is fabulously successful and talented, why don’t I celebrate their success? I started doing that every time I felt the other contracting thoughts – maybe even sending them an email of celebration or sincere compliment – and the small thoughts dissolved.
Ultimately, I think that what we wish for others is what we invite back, and believing that another’s success affects us negatively is nothing more than the illusion of scarcity.
I’ll be having fun with family and old friends on New Year’, so I’ll miss your call. Have a great one!
(Why didn’t I think to do a New Year’s call?)
I’m kidding!
Hi Rachel,
Great radio show today! I registered in order to sign in and send you a comment on the show, but maybe I misunderstood how to send a comment during the broadcast–if so sorry! At any rate, Dorje and I were listening and enjoying. My question for you was along the lines of Kate Phillips’s comment above, re. how to work in a spirit of collaboration–which makes life better for everyone–even when we are in direct competition with friends/colleagues. I thought your comments on the illusion of scarcity and the strategies of remembering one’s individual niche, feeding one’s unique gifts, were right on. You sound great! xoxox -Dorine
Kate, that’s an awesome comment, and I think I see you living your example even through what you say! I admit, I see all your success in the business world and can sometimes feel a little “less-than,” but I also recognize that that’s a limiting and untrue thought. That both of us are breaking ground and doing our own thang and creating a special place in the world.
Thanks for reading and for being a vibrant part of my community.
Dorine, thanks so much for your thoughts! I’m glad to know you guys tuned in.
I’m excited for the next show and the fact that you’ll be ON it!
So true Rachel. I think this is one of these things we feel secretly ashamed about admitting to ourselves. I agree with Kate and she said it so beautifully! We are all ONE, I need to remind myself of that often.